Ummm...err....uh....hi.

I'm shy. I don't like talking to people I don't know. I'm not good at being that person that goes up and introduces herself to people and just starts talking to them, though I wish I was! I've always been envious of those outgoing people, always wished I could be one of them. Over this past year I've finally begun to realize that I can!

I read something once that said being shy is just being selfish. Now I had never thought of it that way. For me, being shy was the only thing I could be! It was just who I am. But I've come to realize that's not true. I have the choice to keep to myself where I feel comfortable or I can take a step out of my comfort zone (and for me that's a REALLY big step!) and talk to people.

I had never thought it was possible until a little more than a year ago......I found out something about one of my friends that I had never known before. This particular friend is one that I have always admired because she is so friendly and outgoing and super sweet. I found out that she was really shy when she was younger but she made the decision to make herself step out and talk to people. I couldn't believe it that one of the people I had admired for so long because of her friendliness and openness struggled with the same problem that I do! It encouraged me that maybe, just maybe, I could be a little more friendly too.

I struggled with this a LOT my first semester at college. I had a really hard time getting to know people in my classes unless they were super outgoing and would talk to me first. I still do struggle with this, but I have come  a long way!

Today for lunch I had 2 hours to kill just hanging around at school, so I had told a friend of mine I would meet up with her and we decided to hang out then. I went over to meet her at the campus center and she had several friends there with her that I hadn't met. A year ago I would have freaked out and probably would not have said a word the entire time I was sitting there. But today, there were about seven people at that table that I didn't know, and only one that I knew.....but I talked with them and got into the conversation and I actually had a good time! I know this probably sounds stupid to most of you, but that is a HUGE deal for me! I don't just hang out with people I don't know, much less actually enjoy myself! It's amazing what taking a step out of your comfort zone can do! It's really hard, but totally worth it in the end!

First day of school!

I was really dreading my first day of school today....and I just got back from one of the best days of school I've had in a looong time! I knew people in all of my classes and my classes were all fun too! Just walking around campus I ran into a bunch of people I knew. And I'm also not a freshman anymore!! That's pretty cool too. :) I'm actually starting to get a little excited about this year...can't wait to see what it holds!

A few more pics...

A few more pics from Belize :)

THE BEACH:

This is Punta Gorda, a town on the coast that we went to Sunday after going to the Mayan ruins.

These two pics are from Jaguar Reef 

Gorgeous! 

CREATURES: 

Tarantula

Centipede thingy...we found these in Bella Vista

A lizard...of some sort. 

I think this is the bat that was flying around in the girls room the first night at Dump. Fastest way to get a room full of girls to scream: throw a bat in with them. :)

More pictures!

Here are some more pics from Belize! :) 

PICS WITH FRIENDS: 

My friend Claire and I at the Mayan ruins

More ruins :)

Late night silliness :) 

Me and Jordyn on the golf cart in Hopkins (the town where the resort is located)

Me and my friend Kaylee :)

BELLA VISTA: 

Hermias, Barnaby and Elias with a friend

Bracelet making

Alisia being a little monkey :)

Walking through Bella Vista with Amilia

BELIZE SCENERY: 

I love the palm trees!! 

These pictures make me miss Belize even more! :) I'll try to post some more pics tomorrow...

Belize 2011-Summary

So, our trip is over, we all made it back safely and I'm pretty sure we all had a blast! In some ways, it's kind of a letdown...I already miss it. I really hope that God will allow me to go back, but one thing I've learned from this is the most important thing is to follow where God is leading. Running ahead on my own accomplished absolutely nothing. It was only when I stepped back and started listening for what God was saying that things began to happen.

I learned a lot on this trip, a lot that I think could impact the way I live my life from here on out if I continue to listen to what God is saying. It's a bit intimidating but also exciting to think of where He might lead me next! One day at a time, following Him.....

"Freedom gained in what is lost, My life I’ve found in you
The greatest gift you’ve given me, I am ready… God I will Go
I give my life,  give my heart, everything I am God I’m all yours… I’m all yours
Where you lead me I will go I will follow you and know I am yours
There’s nowhere I would rather be than with you for all to see I am yours.
I am yours"
- I Am Yours by Jordan Howerton Band

Here is a video summary of our trip in Belize. Enjoy! :)

Belize 2011-Day 6

Thursday, August 4, 2011

My devotion this morning said to write in my journal about some of the changes I’ve experienced and some of the changes I need to experience. So here goes:

As far as changes to my perspective, I can’t help but see how selfish I am! I am constantly fighting my selfish desires this week. I think God is showing me who I really am, deep down, if I don’t let Him change me. Well I’m done with that! I’m asking Him to do a work on my heart and to help me change to be more like Him. I want my heart to be a heart that is completely devoted to and completely in love with Him.

Just sitting here looking out the window, I am in awe of God’s creation! I can see the palm trees and the mountains in the background – it is breathtaking. I absolutely love it here! I took a picture of it, but it doesn’t do it justice.

God's creation is SO amazing!

Today is our last day at Bella Vista! It makes me a little sad. L Praying for opportunities to share God’s love today!

Later ~

This morning was wonderful – and sad at the same time. We started out by walking to a few people’s houses to pray for them (all three were battling an illness of some sort). When I’m in Belize, it’s so easy to just go and pray for them and expect God to heal them – it’s easy to have faith here. But back home if somebody is sick, we depend on doctors and medicine instead of relying on God. I know we have to do our part, and since we have the technology we should make use of it, but it feels like something is missing. Maybe it’s just the total dependence on God for what we need. Jeff had me pray for one of the ladies. That was nerve racking – the whole team (as well as several Belizeans) was standing there listening!

Alisia was there when we started walking around, and I looked for Amilia but I didn’t see her. So me and one of the other girls on the team walked with Alisia until we got over to the soccer field where a lot of the other kids were. Amilia was there and she spotted me right away and came right over to me. She stuck right by my side for most of the day. When it was time to leave she gave me like 3 hugs and we did our high – five handshake I taught her the other day. I told her I would pray for her and asked her if she would pray for me too, and she said she would.

After we left and got out of Bella Vista, I became kind of overwhelmed with emotion. I was kind of sad that we were coming to Jaguar Reef. I felt like if we couldn’t be in Bella Vista loving on those kids, then I just wanted to be at home. Anytime I saw people walking on the side of the road, it made me wish we could turn around and go back to Bella Vista – it made me miss the people of the village – even the ones I don’t know. My heart was (and still is) aching for the people – especially those precious kids!

Lester is one that I don’t think I mentioned the other day. He’s about 13 or so. He likes to pick at me because of my Spanish. Last night after the movie we had a conversation where we just went back and forth between Spanish and English. Usually making fun of my Spanish, no matter which language we were speaking in. J

Lester 

I personally love this pic of him :) 

Kevin has turned out to be a huge surprise this week! I didn’t find this out until this afternoon, and it made me practically stop dead in my tracks! Kevin is a boy that the trip from last month met. He’s 15 years old and he was the leader of a gang of boys in the village. This week he’s been following our group around, visiting with some of our team members, and sometimes getting involved in the activities with us. He has done a completely turnaround from last month! He was watching (and really getting into) the movie last night, and today he had a heart-to-heart talk with one of the adults on our team. We are praising God for the changes there! I will continue to be praying for him, that he will see God’s love through the things he saw this week and will continue to see it through Pastor Marcos and the church members there. If you think of it, please be praying for Kevin! He is a very influential person in that community and if he comes to Christ, he will bring several others with him!!

Kevin with our youth pastor, Tim

The lodge here is amazing! I’m glad we’re only here for one day, but I plan to enjoy it! This is probably going to be the most restful day for the rest of this whole year! 

 This is the beach house some of us girls stayed in at the resort.

This is off our back porch. Amazing!

The view out my bedroom window. Sooo pretty!!!

Belize 2011-Day 5

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

This morning we went to Bella Vista with the intention of passing out 5 pound bags of sugar to some of the families of the village (sugar is pretty scarce there right now and very expensive) and inviting people to come watch the movie at the church tonight. When we got there, Hermias, Barnaby and Elias were there with a few other kids. I like Barnaby – he is a major tease! There was also a sibling group of 2 girls and one little boy. The three of them, plus Hermias and his friend went with me and my team for the day. The two little girls were Amilia (the older one – 7) and Alisia. Their little brother was Victor (3). Alisia was switching between me and the other two girls on our team for a little while – she is a stinker! I call her “monita” – little monkey. J

Me with some of my favorite kids! From left to right: Victor, Alisia and Amilia

Amilia with her other sister, Andrea.

After the first hour – hour and a half Amilia began walking with me. For the last half hour we were inseparable! She told me as we were walking back to the bus that I’m her friend. I told her that she’s my friend too. J I said if she came back tonight for the movie she could sit by me. She said she would definitely come! She is such a sweet little girl! I really hope to continue building a relationship with her this evening and tomorrow before we have to leave. As God wills! May everything said and done be all for His glory!

Later ~

Just got back from the movie night a little while ago. It was a success! The weather was perfect (thank you God!!!) and we had an AWESOME turnout!! When we first left the compound, we made it about 5 minutes down the road before realizing we didn’t have the popcorn we had bought earlier this afternoon for the movie; so we pulled over and waited for Rafael t bring it to us. Two seconds after we pulled back out we realized we didn’t have the movie projector either! So we had to go back and get it and so by the time we made it to Bella Vista, it was already 7:00 and the kids were already there waiting for us. Lots of families began to show up too!

This is the movie we showed: The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry. It does a great job of fully presenting the gospel message. 

I looked around for Amilia, but I didn’t see her because there were a lot of kids there and it was basically dark already. (It was 8 p.m. central time here in the states.) A few minutes later a little girl came over to me and just smiled up at me – and I knew it was Amilia. She stayed next to me (or in my lap) the entire time. Alisia came over and sat with us after a while too. She eventually pushed Amilia out of my lap and fell asleep there. J The girls left before the movie was over, so I didn’t get to ask them about it – especially Amilia – she was really into it! I also didn’t get to tell them that we would be back tomorrow, so I hope they come out! I really want to see them again before we go. I wanted to ask Amilia what she thought of the movie and if she knows Jesus and how to talk to him. I wanted to ask her if we can pray for each other after I leave. I guess that is a conversation that will take place only if the Lord wills.

Tomorrow is our last day in Bella Vista. We are going to pray for a few people and maybe do a sports camp. I’m praying that God’s hand will be over us tomorrow, leading and directing us wherever we need to go.

Soli Deo Gloria!